A year ago today

On April 12, 2009 we got home from our trip to Europe. The next morning I had to wake up super early to go to the fertility doctor. We had been trying for months and my hormones started getting the best of me so I figured it was time to talk to him. I was exhausted and very apprehensive about the visit. I had been to this doctor when I was younger so he could help me with hormone issues so I was familiar with the office and the doctor as well. But I had never asked him how my hormone issues would effect being able to get pregnant. I knew I could get any answer from...you will have no problem, to...you may not be able to get pregnant. I walked into the office, signed in, looked around and after trying to find a seat in such a crowded waiting room, I sat down expecting a good long wait. I immediately pulled out my Bible and just opened it not knowing what to do other than turn to God. It opened to a random page and I read..."He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord." Psalm 113:9 As I read the word "Lord" they called my name. I had waited no longer than a minute.

I didn't even have time for everything to sink in. I just felt the Lord's presence with me in a powerful way. I was shocked. I guess I shouldn't be shocked by the work the Lord does in our lives but I just couldn't get over what I'd just read. How had I turned to that page, that verse and had just enough time to read it before they called my name? God. He is good and He was with me. During a time of uncertainty and questions He was speaking to me and giving me hope.

The doctor told me that day that I would have problems getting pregnant. I will spare you the boring details but basically from what I understand (which isn't much with medical stuff) the part of my brain that should tell my hormones how to work...didn't work. So they would have to start me on fertility treatments and just see if my body responded to them without my brains help. I started treatment the very next day.

Now exactly one year to the date later...Mckinley turned four months old and I can say that on my own accord I was a barren woman but I am in my home and a very happy mother of one amazing child. Praise the Lord!

Home sweet home!

Well, we have had Mckinley home for almost two months now and it has been incredible. She has pretty much slept the whole two months but just in the past week or so has been having much longer awake times. She is somewhere around 6 1/2 pounds and we almost never have to wake her up to eat anymore. She lets us know when it's time and we have found that her lungs have gotten much stronger! All things we are so thankful for. I am even overjoyed when I hear her crying. I'm just so thankful to have a child that I don't care if she cries all night and day. She doesn't fortunately, but even if she did it would be okay. I still daily get teared up when I look at her. I just almost can't believe she's real. She's home. She's healthy. She's adorable. She's...a miracle. When I go to bed at night I almost can't believe I get to wake up and do it all over again the next day. It seems too good to be true. I seriously love every single minute of it. I'm thinking I want about 15 children at this point. I'll have to check with Brandon on that one though :)

St. Patrick's Day was her due date and we celebrated that day! She was over three months old and we knew that day could have been a day of heart ache. We are just so thankful to God for blessing us with her. Since we've been home everything has really sunk in about what we have just been through. During a situation like this all you can do is take one day at a time. We found out I was in labor...we prayed and hoped it would hold off. She was born...they were able to keep her breathing and alive. We stayed in the hospital...we visited her and tried to understand the machines and risks that preemies have. We went home and went to see her everyday...we called every time they were checking her weight, met with the doctors, watched her progress, prayed for her health and life. We watched one tube or wire leave at a time and eventually...months later we got to welcome her home. It's amazing the grace God gives you in those situations. If I knew then what I knew now I would have been terrified. But God gives you one day at a time only what He knows you can handle in Him, and we are so thankful for that. Now we have really had the chance to just enjoy our sweet girl. We've been to the park...
Taken some fun Easter pictures...
And Easter Sunday was a precious time for us. We got to take her to church for the very first time. It was a sweet time holding her and worshiping and getting to celebrate the new life we have in Christ and the new life He has blessed us with.
A song we sang that morning seemed perfectly appropriate...
"What can I do but thank you
What can I do but give my life to you
Hallelujah Hallelujah

What can I do but praise you
Everyday make everything I do
Hallelujah Hallelujah"